Digiquest: a comedy

Chapter 1

On a dark night, atop a mountain jutting out of an island on a blade, an evil digimon plotted an evil plot, a plot so evil that you would be hard pressed to find words other then evil, bad, diabolical, and downright wrong. After a pause, he spoke to his two accomplices.

???: "Alright, I have told you the plan. Are you ready to execute phase one?

DemiDevimon: "Yeah yeah, Boss, can I have the- the-"

Impmon: "Yes, we are ready. Let's get this done."

???: *throws a pair of bags at the two digimon, one of which lands on DemiDevimon* "Get moving. Phase 1 must be executed in speed."

Impmon and DemiDevimon head on in two different ways.

Impmon: "Alright, let's have some fun."

He opened the bag. It was full of black gears.

Chapter 2

Veemon walked down a path in the forest, looking for lunch. He picked up a plant, opened his mouth, and the plant slapped him.

Veemon: "Ow! What-"

The plant continued to attack him, hitting him with vines of what was probably poison ivy. Veemon struck back. At that moment, he attacks ceased, and Veemon punched a tree.

Palmon: "Thats what happens when you mess with me! And brush your teeth!"

Veemon sat on the ground, rubbing his hand and the places the poison ivy hit him.

Renamon: "You really took a beating from that plant. I saw the whole thing."

Veemon: "What?! You were watching that whole time?"

Renamon: "Yup."

Veemon: "Why didn't you help me?"

Renamon: "You looked like you could take care of yourself. But it appears you need a collaborator."

Veemon sat on the road, wondering what the heck a collaborator was. He hoped it wasn't an exercise routine. But before he could ask what it meant, several black objects hurtled over their heads.

"Black gears! Let us go and see where they're coming from!" Renamon said.

Veemon: "I'm sorry, that didn't sound right. Could you repeat that?"

Renamon: "Black gears! Let us go and see where they're coming from!"

Veemon: "Thats better."

Geddit? You may now take the poll, but you may still want to withhold judgement.

It was good. I guess. Kinda short. The title says it's a comedy, but there's nothing funny about this. (YET) I hope to see more, and I hope to see this get better!

123agumon wrote:It was good. I guess. Kinda short. The title says it's a comedy, but there's nothing funny about this. (YET) I hope to see more, and I hope to see this get better!

It will be funny, chapter 2.

rguy3 wrote:

123agumon wrote:It was good. I guess. Kinda short. The title says it's a comedy, but there's nothing funny about this. (YET) I hope to see more, and I hope to see this get better!

It will be funny, chapter 2.

It wasn't really funny, no offense.

You need to include more corny jokes, maybe some backgrounds of the digimon in the fan fic for digimon newbies. The pace was a bit too fast, and I couldn't really tell what was going on. You need to be a bit more descriptive, and a bit more slowed down with this.

Hope this helps you improve!
~Ice

Closed By Request